Your team can speak the same language and still not understand each other.
- Sometimes what we call a “difficult employee” may simply be a communication mismatch.
- True inclusion means people feel comfortable saying: “I don’t understand.” “I have a question.” “I see it differently.”
- Before your next difficult conversation, try three powerful words: “Help me understand.” Listen first. Get curious.
I love working with people because people are wonderfully different.
We think differently. We process information differently. We communicate differently. We come from different generations, cultures, backgrounds and, sometimes, we even speak different languages.
And yet, we come to work every day and expect everyone to understand the same message the same way.
They won’t. And that is OK.
The opportunity for us as leaders is to become curious.
Instead of asking only, “Did I communicate?” I believe we need to ask:
“Was I understood?”
That small change in the question can create a very different conversation.
Is That Person Really “Difficult”?
This is something I encourage leaders to think about before labeling someone as difficult.
What if they aren’t difficult? What if they are simply different from you?
The employee asking for more information may not be challenging you. They may need details before they feel comfortable moving forward.
The person who wants to make a decision immediately may not be careless. They may naturally process information quickly and focus on results.
Another person may need time to think.
Someone else needs to talk it through.
This is one of the reasons I value DISC so much.
DISC gives us an opportunity to understand one another better. Not to put people into boxes.
Please don’t walk around saying, “He’s a D,” or “She’s an S.”
That misses the beauty of the tool.
Instead, let’s use DISC to become curious:
How can I communicate with this person in a way that helps them succeed?
Now we are connecting.
Lost in Translation Is Not Only About Language
Being bilingual has taught me something very important:
Translation is much more than changing words from one language to another.
Someone can understand every word you say and still miss your message.
And someone may understand your message but not feel comfortable enough to say:
“I don’t understand.”
That matters to me.
I want people around the table to feel that they can ask a question. Share an idea. Offer another perspective. Even disagree respectfully.
Because having a seat at the table doesn’t necessarily mean someone feels they have a voice at the table.
That is where leaders have an opportunity to make a difference.
Before Your Next Difficult Conversation…
Try something simple.
Before you walk into the conversation, ask yourself:
“Am I communicating the way I like to receive information, or the way this person needs to receive it?”
And then try three words I absolutely love:
“Help me understand.”
Help me understand your perspective.
Help me understand what I may be missing.
Help me understand what you need from me.
You don’t have to immediately defend.
You don’t have to immediately correct.
You don’t even have to immediately solve.
Understand first.
Because I believe Connection comes before Correction.
This Is Where Communication Becomes Culture
Every conversation leaves something behind.
It can leave someone feeling heard.
Or dismissed.
Valued.
Or invisible.
Safe enough to contribute.
Or hesitant to speak the next time.
And those moments don’t stay inside one conversation. They begin shaping your culture.
When people feel heard, they are more willing to contribute.
When they feel understood, trust can grow.
And when people trust one another, they engage differently.
This is why I believe so strongly in the 3C’s:
Connection. Communication. Culture.
They aren’t three separate boxes.
They build on each other.
And sometimes improving culture doesn’t begin with another big program.
Sometimes it begins with one leader becoming curious enough to ask:
“What am I missing?”
My challenge to you
This week, identify one person on your team who communicates very differently from you.
Don’t try to change them.
Get curious about them.
Ask more questions. Listen a little longer. Learn how they receive information.
You might discover that what you thought was a communication problem is actually an opportunity for a stronger connection.
And that connection may be the beginning of a healthier culture.
What is getting lost in translation on your team?
If that question makes you curious about what may be happening inside your organization, let’s start a conversation.
At Pronto ONE Consulting, that’s exactly where we like to begin:
Not with assumptions. With curiosity.
Connection + Communication + Culture.